Wednesday, 16 March 2011

Plantscription vs. Prescription: turning back time

I don't even know how to warn you about what is to follow, but feel I should.

All I can say is that if you have 
a) a weak constitution
b) just eaten
c) are frightened by scary movies

then turn away now.

However, if you're interested in any of the following:

a) beauty products
b) advertising lies
c) staving off aging...

you, know, the average chick stuff, then take a deep breath and read on.

I've decided not to put my money where my mouth is,
so much as to put my mouthpiece, this blog, where my money is.

And my face where both of them are.

Last month, Red Magazine, which I read religiously and is my absolute favourite reason to be in the UK, published this article:

The article highlighted how the 'boundaries between cosmetics and cosmeceuticals (products that change skin at a deeper level, rather than acting on the surface' are becoming more stretched.'

What I read, in my head, is that I don't need botox!

Upon re-reading it tonight, I can see that's not exactly what it said...but, here's the thing: I've been a little slippery about my age on this blog, and one day I'll tell you why it's a big deal, but not today...Yet I don't care if I lie about my age.
In every other facet of my life - work, relationships, family, friends - I work so hard to be true to myself and others, that I feel I get to lie about something that I am not in charge of - time.

Recently, I've become obsessed
(read in a high-pitched voice): *OB-sesssssed
(drag out for emphasis
on the elevenses...

you know, those shitty little unwelcome furrowed parallel lines that sit between my brows, making me look like an old fishwife.

When I'm not a wife at all. 

some might say, likely to remain so, with a forehead like this.

It doesn't help to know that these are not actual frown lines, caused by being a grump - which is good, because I am not - but glabellar lines - is that supposed to make me feel any better? 

It doesn't.

It sounds like Latin for grumpy lines.

Rather, they're the result of age, sun exposure (oops) and unlucky DNA (we knew that anyway, given that I have no Royal Parentage or even a trust fund.)

So, the answer to these is Botox, fillers, or Tretinoin, also called Retin-A. Available on prescription. With side-effects.
I might be vain, but I am not rich, nor am I particularly hardy to unwanted side-effects, so that's all of those ruled out.

Yet, whoop whoop, RED says that the At-Home Breakthrough is Origins Plantscription Anti-Aging Serum.

It contains an extract from the Anogeissus tree which 'stimulates the production of youth-boosting fibrillin, much like tretinoin, but without the harmful side effects.'

Read: In six weeks I'll be beautiful again.

Well, at least the little bit between my brows.

The Origins site says Plantscription: 
'Helps reduce the appearance of wrinkles. 
Skin's youthful look of bounce is improved. (Bounce, wtf?
It starts with the vertical fret lines between your eyes..."Just tired," you say - they'll go away. Then suddenly they don't.'

That's me! 

And with that, I'm £45 lighter.

I'm an Origins fan anyway - my skin regime is all Origins products, so it really wasn't that big a deal to throw some more money at the lady behind the counter.

In the name of science though, and in paying it forward, I'm going to be the non-photoshopped guinea pig in my own one-woman, non-endorsed, non-controlled (ie, I am using it on both elevens!) experiment.

This is where you have to hold onto your lunch.

Here's the before pic, taken Friday 5th March 2011:

and again, to help you lose your pudding too:

Origins carry all the risk in this experiment -
well, and you, depending on how strong your stomach is for close ups of my naked face.

Yet a week in, with the same camera (my crackberry),
although in slightly different light, no mascara, and a bit closer:

 I think its better already...but then I am panicked that I have a lazy eye. In real life, its because the camera is so close. Next week I won't squint, promise.It might help with your lunch.

Updates will follow weekly for six weeks - the time it should take for me to see around '88% of the skin-smoothing, lifting and wrinkle-reduction effects of retinoic acid.'

And that small mark between my lines?

Let's just say my obsession with lines led me to pick.

At my age.

Which goes to prove that regardless of worrying about looking older, part of me will always behave like a teenager.



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