Friday, 31 December 2010

worst thing about being home...

It's South Africa.

You've read the headlines:


You imagine that I might be talking about the crime, 
the poverty, the violence.

But I'm not.
It actually feels pretty good here in terms of positive vibe.

I'm talking about an oft-repeated conversation that is irritatingly dull and wholly inappropriate.

Nowhere else in the world am I asked by intelligent, educated people - people who are friends!- 
why I am not married, whether I would like to be married,
and whether I am desperate to have at least one child of my own.

Occasionally, it has happened to me that I've had to answer similar questions abroad, but those are questions asked in situations where children and marriage have a totally different part to play in the social landscape, 
such as in rural Vietnam, or the remote Atlas mountains,
and then it is more about learning and understanding each others world view than a direct assault on what appears to be a failure on my part. 

I'm not sure why South African's are so desperate to have everyone neatly bundled up and married off. 


Of course I'd love to meet someone
who could be best friend, lover, protector, partner.
But until that happens,
I'm not signing up for a half-hearted match just so that I can own a 4x4 and discuss what my husband likes have for breakfast before abandoning me for the golf course.
 To be brutally honest, I'm lucky enough that no one has asked that of me either!
And when I say as much, people say 'Shame, but you'd make a wonderful wife' as if they only heard the last sentence!
Hello - I'd rather have a wonderful husband!
I already know I'm half human-half amazing!

And in the meantime there is so much potential out there.

For a happy ending,
but also for a life full of opportunities to be seized.
I'm so lucky and so blessed to have earned and built a life
where I am relatively global in my existence and my world view.


Pack your pity away South Africans,
there is nothing to be sorry about here.




images:bbc.co.uk;zapiro;the peace blogger; etsy

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